What is my purpose?

That is what I am wondering today.  What is my purpose?  I try to be of service as much as possible, but sometimes the price is almost too much. 

Before you read further, let me explain that I am complaining here to get it out so that I don't get upset with the kids.  I'd also like to say that they are all amazing, wonderful kids.  I just need to vent.

I mentioned in a previous blog post that I took in a friend of my youngest son.  He isn't the problem, but it does add to the chaos.  See, both of my sons have Asperger syndrome, a form of high-functioning autism.  My youngest son's friend has sort of the same problem. 

In the last two weeks, they lost one of my phones and lost the cover off the other one so the battery hangs from it.  They bent our metal basement doors so they don't lock anymore (I haven't figured out how they did that yet).  They bent the blades of our riding lawnmower.  I can't count how many plates, bowls, silverware, and glasses they've either lost or broken.  Even though I remind them constantly, they never remember to pick up after themselves.  They never remember to take care of the milk or wipe the counter when they're done.  They use my computer and then I find that settings have been changed or there is a new virus or my bookmarks have mysteriously vanished.  To be honest, I am so sick of the word "oops".  They try so hard to help, but invariably something always goes wrong worse than what they were going to help with in the first place.  I try to remember that it's the thought that counts. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

There, that's better.  The worst part is that we're barely getting by financially, especially with the rising gas prices and another mouth to feed.  So I can't just replace something that gets lost or broken or pay to have things fixed.  If I can't fix something, it gets added to the things to fix.  Unfortunately, with fibromyalgia I can't exactly run around the house fixing things like I used to, and it sucks.

My business is going well, but it's nowhere near enough to cover our bills or replace and repair things.  I'm hoping someday it will be more than enough to cover our bills :)  Until that day comes, things are tough.

Sometimes I wish insurance companies would start selling kid insurance, or insurance for people who have family members with a disability who may break things.  That would be awesome. 

So back to my question.  What is my purpose?  I honestly believe God doesn't give people more than they can handle.  I'm trying to follow my heart in how I handle things.  But things don't seem to be falling into place.  Maybe they're not supposed to, but I sure wish they would.  Sometimes it can be exasperating and disheartening.

My son did something really sweet for Mother's Day.  He printed off an application for Extreme Home Makeover and gave it to me.  How sweet is that?  I don't think we'd qualify, but what a nice thought.