4 posts tagged “school”
The way autism affects the lives of my family never ends. Just when I think we've had a good few days, the phone rings or we get another letter reminding me that my family isn't "normal".
My 18-year-old son wants to learn to drive. He signed up for driving school in February, but being in a classroom setting was too stressful for him. The driving instructor just called me and said they had an opening in a class starting next week. I said we'd have to consider other options because of the classroom setting, and the instructor told me all the awful things about not taking the classes, mostly that getting hands-on driving instruction only would cost $50 per lesson and he wouldn't qualify for the certificate from driving school that would save us lots on our car insurance when I add him to the policy.
At which point I lost my temper a bit. See, Mr. Driving Instructor, this isn't about money. This is about my son's mental health. I'm sure you thought you were helping me see the big picture, but what you were really doing was pounding home to me, again, that we're different and because of that it will cost us lots more money (as usual) and we don't get the benefits that "normal" people get (as usual). Thanks so much.
In honor of World Teachers' Day, I would like to request that politics be removed from every school department.
Let's start paying teachers a decent wage so that the people actually qualified to teach will want to hold the jobs. Provide teachers with access to conferences and workshops on the different disabilities they will be dealing with on a daily basis. And stop catering to parents who think their "little angels" can do no wrong. Punish students who deserve it based on actions, not based on how rich their parents are or their race, etc.
Most importantly, add Common Sense to the lesson plan. No Child Left Behind, my ass. Even if a child's disability is discovered at a young age, there are no real experts out there. Speaking from the perspective of a parent with two autistic children, "professional" psychiatrists and child psychologists don't have a clue. So many symptoms overlap different diagnoses, there is no way to diagnose a child for certain at a very young age. Both of my sons were misdiagnosed numerous times before they received the correct diagnosis and treatment.
What I said in the above paragraph about qualified teachers is based on personal experience. For example, the special education teacher who was hired from a pizza shop with no prior educational experience. Or the special education director who forced us to go along with the same accommodations again that had not worked the prior year because "they weren't used while she was on the job" (wasting 6 months of my son's time in school). Or the special education teacher who didn't call me when my son was so upset that he ran away from the school and was gone for an hour (I found out when he called me).
I heard on a radio show the other day that supposedly it costs $15,000 a year or more to teach one disabled child. Why? Seriously, someone please tell me. The special education teachers I have met have no more experience than working at the local pizza shop (honestly, one did). They received no special training. All of the special education students were crammed into one mobile classroom (a trailer), without air conditioning, while the special ed teacher's office had air. ADHD students were in the same room as autistic students (bad combination if you want the students to succeed). There were only 3 special education teachers for over 40 spec. ed students. And to top it off, the school wanted me to sign off for them to charge Medicare for "day treatment services" at $85 a day just because my child received special ed services.
Here's a wild thought: If a child has a disability and school makes them depressed or anxious, give the parent options. Let the child take a pre-GED test to see how he/she would do. And stop thinking about the all-mighty school budget.
My son dropped out of high school 3 years ago. He had enough, and so had I. It took this long for him to recover from his school experience (with an understanding therapist and medication). He just passed his GED exam on his first try, and now he's looking forward to taking driver's ed and getting a job. He is becoming more and more independent. He is proud of himself, and above all else, he is happy.
I applaud those teachers who really make a positive difference in children's lives. I really do. Unfortunately, all of the ones my family dealt with did much more harm than good for both of my children. Looking back, I still don't know if the blame falls with the teachers or the school administrators.
Have you ever had a dream that came true?
Submitted by rescout.
Yes, and it has gradually happened over the last year.
After years of struggling, my sons are both leading happy and fulfilling lives.
See, my sons both have Asperger syndrome. My youngest also has ADHD and Klinefelter syndrome. I've blogged about them before (I think).
Schools and doctors we dealt with for years focused on helping them "be normal" and "fit in". They didn't realize that school may not have been the right fit, no matter the accommodations.
School was the most difficult environment for them. They were both put in special education classes, but those classes were mainly geared toward kids with attention problems. That was the worst learning environment for kids with sensory issues. For my sons, it was very stressful and depressing for them.
My oldest son quit school a little over a year ago. My youngest just quit this month, after we had a long talk about it. And you know what? We are all happy. My sons aren't having frequent meltdowns anymore. They aren't getting angry over little things all the time anymore. There are no more rages or holes in the walls. Nothing is being thrown and broken. No one is yelling.
Now that they aren't stressed, some of their symptoms have just melted away. Their attention spans are better. They are smiling and happy. They are learning life skills much easier now, and with much less effort. My youngest son has even found an affinity for home repairs. We have two interior doors that he is going to be installing this week. That never would have happened when he was stressed out all the time. He could hardly understand and answer a simple question without a meltdown before.
We're talking about getting them their GEDs, but that will be a stressful process, so we're taking it slow. In the meantime, I'll just enjoy them being relaxed and happy. They both have hobbies, and my youngest is looking for a part-time job.
Life is good.
It's been such a stressful few days. I finally heard back about my mortgage. After calling every day for over a month (after waiting 60 days already), my moratorium has been approved. Finally. Big sigh of relief.
Today we have a meeting at the school about my youngest son. He has Asperger syndrome, Klinefelter syndrome, and ADHD. Yeah, it's a fun combo, especially when trying to get him an appropriate education. He'll be 17 in July, and I don't know how much longer he can cope with school.
Right now he's enrolled in a school specializing in autism, but the problem is that includes kids who make loud noises and have frequent outbursts. Not that there is anything wrong with any of that, but it isn't good for a kid with high-functioning autism. So far the school dept. has wasted his freshman and sophomore years of high school by jerking us around. I won't go into details here because I could be bitching forever, but if you've ever dealt with the special education department of a school, you know what I mean.
So anyway, back to the main subject of this post. When I get stressed, I can't concentrate enough to work on amigurumis. I need something mindless. Not too exciting, but it keeps me busy. These are the granny squares for an afghan I've been working on:
