4 posts tagged “telephone”

Do you feel the same way I do?  I work full time, and I run a business.  Plus I take care of my kids and dog and house and yard.  I have to take my own trash to the town dump.  I don't have time for people to waste, especially when I pay these people for a service. 

The type of customer service that business are using now, especially on the telephone, is totally ridiculous. I would love to speak to the person who came up with it and understand their rationale.  For instance, when I call your company, don't tell me it's to provide me with better service if I enter my account number before I even speak to a live person.  By the time I get to talk to a real live person, they don't have that information so I have to tell them all over again.

Companies are being way too wordy on the phone.  Instead of a nice brief "Select 1 for this, 2 for that," etc., now it's "In order to serve you better, please tell us why you are calling," at which point the voice recognition system has a 50/50 shot of understanding what I'm saying.  Under normal circumstances, I can expect to go through at least 2 of these menus before actually being routed to a department, where I may or may not have to tell them why I am calling so they can serve me better.

And who the HELL came up with "Please listen to the following menu as our options have recently changed."  NO THEY HAVE NOT!  They don't change!  You have the same options you had 5 years ago!  Just because you say to listen to the whole list doesn't mean I want to or will.

I don't have time to sit around all day listening to what you deem to be important, because to me it isn't.  Their telephone system answers with a whole list of things like "pay your bill", "change your service", etc.  Usually what I want to do isn't listed, and I have to wait until the end.  But then I pushed "0" for operator.  That sort of speeds things up, but then it says "While we transfer you, in order to serve you better, please enter your account number followed by the pound sign."  ARghhhhh!!!!  Verizon customer service goes so far as to almost be a joke.  I called the other day to ask about my son accessing the internet from his cell phone, but I didn't have trouble with it.  The sales rep. said, and I kid you not, "I'm sorry you're having trouble with your son accessing the internet from his cell phone.  I would be happy to help you with that today."  Now the new "thing" is to repeat what the customer said verbatim after the words "I'm sorry."  I told her that it sounded condescending when she repeated me word for word for the third time, and this is her reply, "Ma'am, I'm sorry it sounded condescending to you when I repeated you."  *sigh*

Businesses have also taken account security to a whole new annoying level.  There are a bunch of places that when I call they ask for my name, address with state and zip, phone number, AND password.  I could just be calling to ask a generic question not account related, and they still insist on all this.  Again, w a s t e   o f   m y    t i m e!

Finally, at the end of the call, I don't want to hear how I am an important customer to them and they value my business.  I don't want to complete a short survey, and I especially don't want to hear about one more product that might interest me.  Really people.

Here is what I would like to happen:  I call and hear "Please select 1 for this or 2 for that."  My call is routed to the correct department the first time.  I tell the operator why I am calling.  They say, "I can help you with that," and proceed to do just that.  At the end of the call, they say, "Thank you for calling such and such business."  The end.   Short and sweet.  No time wasted.

Note to businesses who buy into this philosophy of customer service:  Just telling people you're trying to serve them better doesn't mean they'll believe you.  You respect customers more by not wasting their time.  Telling your customers they are important to you in a canned text sort of way is meaningless and a joke.  If you've ever heard someone obviously reading it off a card, you know what I mean.  The best way to make customers feel like they are important to you is to SHOW them by putting their needs first and being nice and respectful.  How hard is that?

And Verizon?  A short note to you:  Whoever is in charge of your telephone customer relations should be fired on the spot.  Hire someone with years and years of real experience.

I just called the local electric company to pay my bill over the phone.  I chose their "convenient automated customer support system".  When my call was answered, a man rambled on about how this was their convenient automated payment system.  He informed me there would be a $2.95 charge.  I was warned that by selecting option 1, I would be agreeing to their terms of service, as well as Western Union's terms of service, which could be viewed on line at www.blahblahblah.  After a few minutes more of him rambling on, I was given options to choose from.  I chose to pay my bill, option 1. 

The Western Union service picked up my call.  They informed me that by agreeing to use their service, I was electing them to charge $2.95 to my account and agreeing to their terms of service.  They told me I could pay with Visa, MasterCard, Discover, ATM, debit or credit card, checking account, etc.  They then began to tell me about their terms of service............................ and I hung up.

I then called the main electric company number, hit 0 for operator, and spoke with a real live person, who promptly scolded me for not using the "convenient automated payment system."  But she processed my payment in less than a minute and I was off the phone.

Look, if you think sending your calls out to a call center will save you money, more power to you.  But please try to make it as painless as possible for your customers.  Just because you have an automated system, it doesn't mean your customers want to be held hostage having to listen to one of your representatives ramble on and on.  Just give us the choice, 1 for this, 2 for that, 3 for the other.  That's all we want.  Get on with it already.

When I call my doctor's office, I really don't need to be told that "if this is an emergency, please hang up and dial 9-1-1."  I have not had any brain trauma lately, and I am not under 3 years of age.  Is that to protect you from lawsuits if a patient can't quickly get through to your office or what?

My time is as valuable as yours, maybe more valuable.  Because I am smarter than you are.  I know that customers do not want to be forced to spend sometimes hours on the phone (local internet company).  I know that those of us who are hard of hearing find it a great inconvenience to not get a real human being on the phone.  I know that some senior citizens find it frustrating and confusing dealing with "convenient automated systems".

One more thing:  I hate calling you.

My internet has been acting strange the past few days, cutting in and out.  TDS Telecom has one of those new "improved" telephone systems where you have to press 1 if you are a customer, press 2 if you are calling from your home phone, press 3 if you are a human being, etc. 

After pressing 15 numbers (seriously, I counted on my phone's display after the call), I finally got through to a human being.  Unfortunately, said human being was not in this country.  He had an accent that made me think he may have been in India.  He told me he was in Wisconsin ... yeah, right.  He must have just gotten off the plane.  His accent was so thick that I had to keep asking him to repeat himself.  Now let me say that I have absolutely nothing against speaking with someone in another country... as long as they know what they're talking about and can actually help me.  You know you're in trouble when you can hear them flipping through their notebook in the background.

I'm sick of companies making me do more work so they can save a buck.  They're sure not passing on that savings to me.  Not only that, but these phone systems also fall into the category of the dumbing down of America.  When I call my doctor's office, before I get to speak to a real live person, I have to hear "if this is an emergency, please hang up and dial 9-1-1."  *insert sound like fingernails on a chalkboard here*

Speaking of 9-1-1, even our local emergency number has been "improved."  Don't they realize how difficult it can be for those who are older or hard of hearing?  My dad called 9-1-1 last week but ended up hanging up because he couldn't understand the "press 1 for this, press 2 for that".  Luckily it was only some kids beating the hell out of a car and not a person.

This is so exciting.  OK, I called my phone company (TDS Telecom) about a weird charge on my bill.  Long story short: They took care of the problem.  Then this super nice telephone rep. says "I see your DSL right now is 256k.  I can upgrade that to 768k for you for the same monthly fee."  Huh???  I swear, if this wasn't my local telephone company, I would have said this was a scam. 

So by Thursday, I'll be zooooooooooooooooooming :)  Squee!